I had not seen the Horse Girl trailer when I wrote the Dolphin Girls blog. In my heart of hearts I never dreamed such a thing could exist. I thought we had too much respect for each other and too much fear of God to cross the thin line in fiction based on girlhood exceptions. I underestimated the human desire to open doors that should never have been opened.
I don’t think the Horse Girl trailer is bad, and I don’t think that Horse Girl is necessarily going to be a bad movie. I can’t think anything about it because as soon as I start watching the trailer my body goes into fight or flight mode: I break out into a cold sweat, my heart starts pounding, and my mouth tastes like metal. I can’t tell what response Horse Girl is supposed to provoke in me but that’s the one it does. Is Horse Girl a psychological thriller? Is the main character actually turning into a horse? Is the whole plot just the horse thing? Did she like horses before? Why are horses so scary?
Co--Star called me a d-list horse girl so I am uniquely qualified for this. Not only I am a horse girl I’m so much of a niche horse girl that I can’t even be marketed to the masses.
Let’s break down this trailer for a minute.
At first very normal film about an average awkward girl called Sarah struggling romantically and socially.Very much the foundation for a movie about a former horse girl rediscovering her passions and deciding she doesn’t care what people think. That’s not the direction they decided to go in. We’re in familiar territory when we get that shot of her looking at herself in her car mirror. Something isn’t right.
Aww she’s got a dead mom and ohhh she’s got a horse that she visits that’s cute. Maybe the mom died while riding/used to be an equestrian or loved horses too? I don’t think so.
Debbie Ryan is also here and her Disney Channel persona used to give me serious Horse Girl vibes. Look at her being a good friend and hooking up her roommate*. Maybe he’s into horses too?
But then her nose starts to bleed. And here’s the tone shift. Music cuts, the camera angle shifts and we get thrown off kilter as well. After this point the trailer is giving me more questions than I think the movie can answer. Clearly there are some links between inheritance and family (with a grandmother who looks eerily similar to Sarah, mental health and possible animal transformation. But how do the horses fit in? There are so many horses in this trailer but I don’t know what they mean. I don’t know what the dressmaking means either and I’m not sure which scares me more.
Wait no I do, it’s the horses.
This movie has an R rating and I don’t know what that means for my future. Don’t be mistaken I will be watching this movie. Nothing can stop me from watching this movie. I don’t know who I will be after watching this movie. So look forward in the future to seeing my review of Horse Girl by Jeff Baena
Is it this the thirteenth year but with horses? Is this cat people but with horses?
*someone get me one of those NetflixTM roommates so I can get my life back on track.
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